New Accusations
I have been accused of a lot over the 12 years of my marriage. Most of those accusations involved me wasting things, and yes, I agree, I can be a very wasteful person. I waste water, electricity, toothpaste, body wash, shampoo, and lots of other things. What I am accused of wasting most often is my wife's effort. Yesterday, I received a new accusation...wasting my wife's "thinking time".
Let me give you some backstory:
Last weekend I spent 30-45 minutes talking on the phone with my parents. When it was over, Wife asked me, "What did you talk about?" I replied, "Oh, not much. They just told me about their weekend in Blythe." or something to that effect. They cover so many topics during a phone call, it's impossible to keep track and some times, I'm not really listening.
Then, yesterday, while Wife is preparing the dry curry for dinner (and making way too much), she texted me to ask if it would be appreciated by me and my parents if she used some of the leftovers to make a snack/lunch to eat in the car today since we're traveling with my folks to Phoenix (another story to be told later probably). I replied with, "actually Mom is making her southwest sandwiches for lunch, so you don't have to." That set off the accusations of wasting her thinking time.
I know there are lots of books about the differences in how men and women communicate with each other. I've read the Mars & Venus book! But being in an international marriage, there are new challenges and precedents are being set and revised every day!
My wife hates it when I give/tell her long answers/explanations/stories about things, especially late at night because her brain is working well to listen and translate everything I'm saying back into native language. If I have to give her lots of information, I already know it's better to write it out. So I knew that when she asked last Sunday night what we talked about, she didn't want to hear about EVERYTHING that was discussed. If she had asked about plans for lunch on Friday, August 2nd, I wold have gladly told her on Sunday there plans for
But here's the thing, she also didn't ask if we talked about plans for today and she didn't ask me about plans for today until yesterday when she was making copious amounts of dry curry. If I'm not supposed to be wasting her "thinking time", then I need to have that same ability that Mel Gibson had in the movie "What Women Want" where he could hear what women are thinking. And, my wife doesn't come equipped with those thought bubbles around her head, so I don't know which ones are the unimportant ones that I can pop with a sharp object!
As a co-worker of mine commented yesterday, I guess I'm just a man!
All for today!
Let me give you some backstory:
Last weekend I spent 30-45 minutes talking on the phone with my parents. When it was over, Wife asked me, "What did you talk about?" I replied, "Oh, not much. They just told me about their weekend in Blythe." or something to that effect. They cover so many topics during a phone call, it's impossible to keep track and some times, I'm not really listening.
Then, yesterday, while Wife is preparing the dry curry for dinner (and making way too much), she texted me to ask if it would be appreciated by me and my parents if she used some of the leftovers to make a snack/lunch to eat in the car today since we're traveling with my folks to Phoenix (another story to be told later probably). I replied with, "actually Mom is making her southwest sandwiches for lunch, so you don't have to." That set off the accusations of wasting her thinking time.
I know there are lots of books about the differences in how men and women communicate with each other. I've read the Mars & Venus book! But being in an international marriage, there are new challenges and precedents are being set and revised every day!
My wife hates it when I give/tell her long answers/explanations/stories about things, especially late at night because her brain is working well to listen and translate everything I'm saying back into native language. If I have to give her lots of information, I already know it's better to write it out. So I knew that when she asked last Sunday night what we talked about, she didn't want to hear about EVERYTHING that was discussed. If she had asked about plans for lunch on Friday, August 2nd, I wold have gladly told her on Sunday there plans for
But here's the thing, she also didn't ask if we talked about plans for today and she didn't ask me about plans for today until yesterday when she was making copious amounts of dry curry. If I'm not supposed to be wasting her "thinking time", then I need to have that same ability that Mel Gibson had in the movie "What Women Want" where he could hear what women are thinking. And, my wife doesn't come equipped with those thought bubbles around her head, so I don't know which ones are the unimportant ones that I can pop with a sharp object!
As a co-worker of mine commented yesterday, I guess I'm just a man!
All for today!
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